I interviewed a couple this afternoon who described the worst wedding they ever attended was when the priest reminded the congregation on the wedding day that only 50% of marriages survive. Now I'm sure he meant to set a tone of the seriousness of marriage or of making a commitment, but in fact this statement is better said as private counsel to the couple.
This slip of the tongue set a downbeat tone, one of fear, and only a sad reminder of how hard marriage can be. And it's not that this is a lie. Marriage is not easy. But wedding ceremonies are an opportunity for gratitude, for celebrating the joy of what they have with each other. The vows are solemn enough and when done with sincerity are memorable.
The general American statistics on divorce have nothing to do with this couple standing before the priest. He may as well tell them that 55 % of American men and women are overweight. Will that mean they'll eat healthier food and exercise? Reminding them of the divorce rate may actually be soothing: "so if this doesn't work out, we won't be any worse than half the population!"
A marriage is an awesome celebration. If people are prepared they will go in with their eyes open and weather the storms. If they're too immature to face the road ahead, a lecture during the ceremony won't help. Speak of the promise, the hope, the many benefits of this union. Or just try to stay skinny for the next 50 years.
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