Oooops! We don't get to do a wedding ceremony over (not to this person on this day). When we're in it, this is IT!!
As much as I love the whole event of wedding ceremonies, moment to moment, from Good Afternoon to Ladies and Gentlemen, please greet the newlyweds, I hold the centerpiece as truly "all that there is". This centerpiece comprises the Asking, the Vows and the Ring Vows. These are traditional (but also very customizable) and are heard worldwide every day in all languages, and in both civic and religious customs.
It is here where we are the most intimate, where I tell my couples that I disappear (metaphorically) and where they alone generate the meaning, the presence and the depths of their words and gestures to each other. This is also the most nerve wracking part of the ceremony for some couples. Why?
The moment of saying these words reaches deep down to the soul and reverberates the gravity of a life long promise. It's tempting to cry (mostly it just cannot be avoided). Fear of crying, however, can destroy the beauty and feeling of this moment. Suppressing tears with all your might may not even work, but if it does it may give you unintended consequences, like rote, wooden reciting.
Tip: appreciate the depth of feeling. Let it be there. Ninety nine out of a hundred times the tears may be in the eyes and in the voice a tiny bit, but you will not have a meltdown in front of your beloved, your family and friends. I've never seen it. However, I have seen readers fall apart, loving friends or siblings who are simply overwhelmed and make it through half the reading, stop and cry and go on. It's not a problem. The joy of a wedding has to have tears in the background. These are not sad tears, but they come from a well of gratitude to have this gift in our midst. Let it happen; you can suck it up when your toasts happen at the reception.
