Notes from The Celebrant Foundation

Say “I Do” To A Personalized Wedding Ceremony

Your wedding day is one of the most personal and cherished days of your life. Your wedding ceremony itself should be just as personal. Every aspect of it, from readings to music to symbolism, should be a reflection of you, your betrothed, and the bond that you share.

“To make this day truly your own, rejoice in everything that makes your union unique,” says Charlotte Eulette, National Director, Celebrant USA Foundation. “Express yourself among family and friends through a personalized ceremony.”
Here are several ways from the Celebrant USA Foundation to make your ceremony unique to you:

Tell your personal story: Share the story of how you met and why you fell in love. What were the first words you said to each other? Where was your first date? How did the proposal happen? What actions of the other say I love you? What does your partner do that always makes you laugh? Your Celebrant can include these words in the introduction or elsewhere in the ceremony.

Interview your family and friends: Include their anecdotes, wishes and advice in the body of the ceremony.

Honor the Presenter: If one or both of you will be presented in marriage, take this time to reflect on what this relationship means to you. Have your Celebrant include words of homage, amusing stories, and thanks.

Beyond “Here Comes the Bride”: If the traditional wedding music doesn’t appeal to you, include songs or music that have created the soundtrack to your relationship.

Celebrate Your Heritage: Make a list of your respective ethnic, cultural or religious backgrounds. Research wedding rituals, poets and music from these traditions and create a distinctive blend of words and symbols. Honor both your backgrounds and the ceremony will reflect your unique partnership.

Something New: Borrow freely from the rich wedding customs around the world. You don’t need to belong to a particular culture or religion for its rituals to have meaning. Such rituals have been performed for hundreds or thousands of years because they resonate with universal truths about marriage.

The Celebrant USA Foundation is a non-profit educational institution dedicated to helping families personalize celebrations that mark life’s milestones. Founded thirty years ago in Australia, Celebrants have performed over one million weddings worldwide.

Celebrants officiate at virtually every life event, including weddings and commitments, funerals and memorials, and baby namings and adoptions. With a focus on personalizing each ceremony to reflect the needs, beliefs and values of the couple or family, Celebrants are trained in the art of celebration, symbolism and tradition. For more information about the Celebrant Foundation or to locate a Celebrant near you, visit us at www.celebrantusa.com

Celebrant USA Foundation & Institute
93 Valley Rd
Montclair, NJ 07042
973.746.1792

Kill the Runner

OK, I've finally had it. Runners are OUT! I haven't seen one really successful runner happen in any wedding in the past dozen or more. Why?

Let's start with the obvious: in the outdoors weddings there is usually uneven ground and runners can slip much more easily than stay in place. And a runner that slips is a hazard to the bride. And NO ONE has the right to put the bride in such a condition on her one and only wedding day!!

They even slip in chapels. The one successful runner happened this summer when it was rolled out BEFORE even the guests were seated and then the whiteness was marred because they all got their footprints on it! But, because it was rolled out and anchored into place before the ceremony when there was time to get it correctly placed, it worked!! The royal pastiche of daintiness to have the "queenly dainty foot" step on nothing but pure white linen is a habit we should dispose of. It doesn't work.

Cancelled Wedding

I recently heard from a bride whose wedding was scheduled for the early fall. I was to be their officiant and she notified me the wedding has been cancelled. The young woman apologized and said very little else, but I was moved to respond. I remember her as lovely (as was the groom-to-be). They looked like they were made to be together, a picture perfect look of compatibility.

I emailed back how I wished her well and let her know how brave and wise she is to take this action now. I know many who have known they shouldn't marry months ahead or weeks ahead, but went ahead anyway. All are divorced today. She and he must be in extraordinary pain, the kind we feel when we somehow assume we've let everyone down.

Weddings are for ourselves and for others. But marriage is not for others. The family and friends don't go home with us to our households, to our kitchens and bedrooms, to our bank accounts and our dreams and our longings and our anger, sadness, and deepest longings for true intimacy. We only know the truth of what we feel can work well very deeply inside us and we must feel that strongly in the midst of being tested. And the weeks and months leading up to a wedding are a test in itself.

So this sadness, this loss, this disappointment will pass. These two will be better off and they deserve the best their courage can provide them.