Cultural Customs

Some ceremonies are just that---ceremonial, as in austere, as in the processional for English monarchs. And some are less magisterial, more truly celebratory, and perhaps even a little raucous. 


A few weeks ago I officiated a wedding between two Russian born sweethearts and everyone's entrance, bridesmaids, flower girls and of course the bride and groom, was greeted with joyous and resounding applause. This actually had a calming effect on the couple. They were applauded upon their very entrance and well before the vows, so they didn't have to perform or prove themselves. Their family and friends were raving just at their sight. 


For all the preparation I promote between the couple before their ceremony, the one last thing I say to them (and specifically to this couple, who were forced to start 30 minutes late), is to just be "present" for each other, to be aware that they are living breathing beings, not performers attempting to fulfill some standard expectation. These two were front and center for each other.


Here they are: Tanya and Ilya:

Outdoor Ceremonies and PLAN B

I've written about this several times, but it bears a second say: Ensure that your Plan B is equally appropriate and valuable to your ceremony setting. If your venue shift to indoors is sketchy, if there is a compromise on guest comfort, sound or visual accommodation, do not book that venue. From April through November, on the East Coast, outdoors is a 50/50 gamble, particularly in the summer months. Garden weddings are lovely ideas, but the indoor wedding ceremony has creature comforts that trump the wonderful gifts of nature: bugs, wind, rain, scalding hot sun, stultifying humidity, dangerous lightning.

I'm not sour on outdoor ceremonies. When the stars align, they provide an extraordinary atmosphere. My own wedding, over thirty years ago, was outdoors in June. We got all the way to ...by the authority I hold from the State of New York...and the sky opened up. We were truly lucky. Last June I officiated a wedding where we completed the vows, but not the ring exchange, when serious lightning and thunderstorms rolled in from nowhere, and we had to run 500 feet to the reception "barn" to complete the ceremony.

It's a very hard call when the weather looks like it could go either way, but bottom line: love your plan B to make the decision easier on you on a day already filled with extraordinary tension and anticipation.