Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Authentic Ceremony

Why is authenticity so important in a wedding? Romance is what we all enjoy, reading about it, watching it in film and on TV and celebrating it in a wedding. But romance comes long before commitment and it's choosing another, committing to another that makes the wedding authentic (and does the same for the marriage itself). Romance is the trigger and commitment makes us adults. And the words we use make all the difference.

I officiated a wedding this afternoon for a couple who wrote lengthy tributes about each other (which I edited for reading at the ceremony) and neither of them saw nor read what the other had said. They heard each other's tribute simultaneously with their guests. Everyone was moved by their words, by the truthful, humorous and clearly wise observations they each had of the other.

They found vows as well that were specific to their own commitment, beautiful, frank and not your everyday wedding vows.

I believe that a wedding ceremony can re-ignite the rich experience of what love is to everyone you invite. The more inclusive we are in our love and in our sharing its full and practical picture, the more we open ourselves to our friends and family. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes the same village to embrace and support a marriage. The words we say on our wedding day are our promises to keep. Words matter.

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