Ushers

Small weddings sometimes suggest a relaxed atmosphere. If there are fifty guests invited to sit in the outdoors, and guests come dressed in garden party comfort, they can find a seat suitable for themselves, right? At least most people know better than to take the first row, the one reserved (with or without a sign) for the couple's immediate family.

There's one problem, and one I know from years of teaching and presenting seminars: given a chance to choose their own seating, most people will fill up the back rows and scrupulously avoid the front.

I recently officiated a wedding with sixty guests invited to an exquisite outdoor setting. When the processional was about to begin and I was standing in my official spot, I saw the first five rows were virtually empty. As the bridal party was slightly delayed, I took the opportunity to announce to latecomers and to others crowded together in the last two rows that there were plenty of seats up front. By sheer luck, I was able to fill in the areas that ushers, had there been any, should have filled in.

The simple solution here is to designate any trusted young man or woman to merely guide people to the front rows. Ushers as such are not formalities to be avoided in a more casual wedding; they are necessary to set the stage for coziness and community in the ceremony itself.