Including children in your ceremony

Children are such a wonderful part of our lives. Young children (under five) are cute and sometimes add a delightful flavor to the wedding party.

However, some children are too young. I recently officiated a wedding ceremony where an 18 month old was expected to walk down the "aisle" ( a simple one in a large living room). The poor child started crying, then wailing, as the distraught mother froze and let another guest take the child in her lap. When the bride and groom entered, the baby kept screaming, so we stopped the proceedings long enough for the mother and the child to exit the room.

This was not a disaster, as this was a sweet and simple small ceremony (second marriage for the bride); however, it was traumatic for the child and, as it turned out, for the mother. Size didn't matter: humiliation can happen with only one other witness.

Advice: hold back from the urge to include children under the age of four. Six years old is a good age, but cuteness can begin to fade by then. If you must have a young child, send the Mother or Dad down the aisle holding the child's hand. Two children, preferably siblings, are also better than one. They offset each others' attack of nerves.

And then after you're married with children, you'll understand this all perfectly.