Wedding nerves

I've posted on this earlier, but it bears another look. What do you do with the heightened energy that accompanies your actual wedding date? This energy is anticipatory and can go in any number of directions. How do you keep really cool and centered so that all this work and planning includes you in the loop of enjoyment? When you are in the grip of even "happy" energy, you are still in its grip.

Let's start with what's available: your mind, your heart, your physical body. It actually doesn't matter how you prioritize these: you can enter a state of calm through any of these portals. So, what to do with what:

The Mind

The mind listens to ideas, as well as follows emotions. Depending on your own learning habits and preferences, you may want to write down all last minute unfinished business, the left brained linear details. One way is to do a checklist and check off each tiny task as its completed. Decide on and cross out inessentials right away, as soon as they become evident that they just won't get done. Some of your "priorities" disappear as they become just too late for execution. Good to write them down and let them go.

The other thing to do for the mind is to journal. Though electronic documents are fine, probably it's better to have a tiny handwritten notebook, one that you can grab from anywhere close by (maybe near the bed stand) and then just let it flow. Here is where you can complain, worry, pray, whatever comes to mind as you free write all the thoughts on your mind.

You Heart

Your heart is another gateway, a portal to peace. This heart help could come from many avenues, including your loving spouse to be, your mother or father or a trusted sibling, or of course, a best friend. Any burdens to your heart will be evident to others and will be the heaviest weight of nerves to carry into your wedding day. I find that the emotional element most prevalent for brides and grooms is fear. Describing your fears (mostly irrational) is a helpful, useful way to overcome them. Notwithstanding the fear of making a mistake (which should have been evident long before the last week before the wedding ceremony) is the simple fear of flubbing up a ceremony, or encountering unruly behavior at a reception. These are rare occurrences, but the fear of them is real. Talk them out and put them in the "irrational thinking" bucket where they can disappear into space.

Your Body

This may be the easiest portal to take care of both the mind and the heart. Just as your endorphins get charged up in the gym and lighten up your mood when you exercise, so also does this happen to dissipate a worried mind or a frightened heart. I see many brides and grooms hit the champaigne before walking down the aisle, a way to combat performance anxiety, but I've also seen a fainting groom whose small dose of alcohol took over an empty stomach and turned the wedding video into an almost solo bride performance. Trust yourself to be your most relaxed: do yoga, ride a bike, stretch, do sit ups, get to the gym at 6 AM: do what it takes to move the body.The endorphins will work in your favor if you take the time to exercise their benefits.

All of this is helpful to give you back the joy you planned for others and can reap for yourself. This is one of the two or three happiest days in your life. It's your joy and pleasure for the taking.