OK. I mentioned this a few days ago, so here it is.
Last summer (2006) I agreed to officiate a park wedding for a sweet young couple living in a nearby suburb of Boston. She was an all-American girl with Scandinavian Protestant roots from the Mid-west. He was an all-American boy from the far West, except his roots were Catholic and Asian.
He said he was unsure if his family could make it to the wedding, since they were coming in from Hawaii (their home). He had many friends from his Ivy League undergraduate and graduate schools coming, so his "side" would be well-represented, even without his immediate family.
On the day of the wedding, his family did indeed show up. But during the very small, intimate ceremony, his mother crossed her arms, frowned, and focused both her eyes and her body deliberately away from the bride and groom and the vows and blessings as they unfolded. The ceremony was held openly, with all attending facing one another in a circle, so her body language was visible to all, including the bride and groom.
After the ceremony, the bride's mother told me that this was not religious antipathy from the groom's mother, but racial intolerance. Her ethnically Hawaiian son was mixing the races and she was making her "statement". The couple held up just fine, but the guests ( as well as I ) were perplexed.
Warning: Clear the negative issues of a difficult relative (certainly a parent). Keep her (him) away. Toxicity is a private matter, unforgivable at a public celebration. Weddings are not political platforms. They are first and foremost a celebration of love and hope. It's your special day: don't let anyone THINK of spoiling it.
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